~Dartz "Spirit Of Xtasy" Rolls Royce Phantom Hood Ornament -File This Under "Because It Made Me Giggle"~

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“Bad taste creates many more millionaires than good taste.” -Charles Bukowski

Russian luxury SUV maker and creator of some questionable yet imaginative automobile accessories (whale penis leather interiors ring a bell?) Dartz has created a hood ornament for a Rolls Royce Phantom that basically looks like a Oscar statue gettin it in with a lady Oscarette. Some, more like most, will say this is in poor taste. And they very well maybe right but... IDGAF. I would so rock this on my Phantom...ya know...if I had a Phantom.

Kisses Bitches...

Glamour Whore...xoxo

~"Abs In A Box"?! File This Under: NO!~

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"I love the male body. It's better designed than the male mind." -Andrea Newman

I never thought about a double standard in the area of beauty/grooming until I came across "Abs In A Box". Yeah, I said "Abs In A Box".

This kit is exactly what it says it is. It's actually abs in a box. Or at least the products men need to give/get the illusion of abs. When I first saw it I rolled my eyes and thought "What sad bastard would buy this?!" and then I caught a glimpse of my makeup trunk and it made me think... As a professional MUA I have an entire trunk filled with products to cover things we have, create things we don't have, and take years off of our appearance. And by "we" and "our" I mean...women. For the most part anyway. It's the norm for me to provide these services to men also...at work. On a shoot/stage/film set makeup and grooming on a man is completely acceptable but other than those scenarios makeup on a man, in my eyes, is so weak. Just plain un-sexy. Which is such a double standard because as a woman I use all of my professional products on myself (in everyday life) creating illusions and masking flaws, and I have left more than my share of lipstick on men's collars... But double standard or not, if a man's abs rubbed off on me I would be filled with disdain. I would be seriously turned off and it's not right but it is what is. So please fellas...only use this product for Halloween. And even then...only if you must.

Abs In A Box Kit For Men:

Kisses Bitches...

Glamour Whore...xoxo

~Is That A Lightsaber In Your Pocket Or You Just Happy To See Me?! -Star Wars Burlesque~

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Darth Vader: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.

Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil, Darth.
[lightsabers clash]

-"Star Wars" 1977



La Club "Bordello" transformed into "Mos Eisley Cantina" for a "Tatooine" style burlesque show... Star Wars Burlesque?! Seriously? Really?! Yes. Star Wars strippers... And it's not just Princess Leia....

Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you'll do as I tell you, okay? -"Star Wars" 1977



Nope. It's also Storm Troopers, Darth Vader, Jabba The Hut (so not kidding) meets fishnets, corsets and pasties... Omg...it's like porn for space nerds. Some of it is actually glam and sexy and some of it... Not. So. Much. I mean, Jabba The Hut?! I don't judge...but...I'm just saying...Jabba The Hut?!

"If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short-circuit." ―C-3PO "Star Wars" 1977



If this is something that gets a rise out your "lightsaber" then hit up LA Weekly to find out where and when...

C-3PO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease -"Star Wars" 1977



Like I said... I don't judge... That's a lie. If you really get turned on by this...even a little bit...you may be a freak. Which is fine...wave that freak flag proudly, get out some twenties and make it rain on Boba Fett!

"I have no wish to offend the Jedi. This would benefit no one."
―Jabba The Hut "Star Wars" 1977




"Impressive, most impressive. But you are not a Jedi yet." -Darth Vader (said to Luke Skywalker) Star Wars 1977

LA WEEKLY

Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo